Tuesday, 24 March The Messiah Reveals His Kingdom. Matthew 19:1–15
I wonder how many dinner tables, synods and anxious, guilt-ridden men and women have puzzled, argued, attacked, wondered, and wept over the first 13 verses of this chapter!
You will have noticed that we have continued our reading beyond the divorce question to the end of v15. I am convinced that Matthew’s intent was to include all of this as one narrative. My reasons for this are simple. V15 ends with Jesus going on his way. The NIV says he went on from there. From where? Presumably the location indicated in vv1–2. If we read these few verses as part of the earlier scene, we may find the presence of the children helpful to our thinking.
This passage is often treated as a sort of textbook case, a way to set out “Jesus’ Rules About Divorce”. We so love clear rules and guidelines. But the Kingdom of heaven does not come with a rulebook – unless it is ‘Love God, love others. Live in justice. Love Mercy. Seek forgiveness. Offer forgiveness. Accept forgiveness.’
Notice this: The question posed by the Pharisees focusses on divorce; Jesus’ answer focusses on marriage. Their question was one of those trick questions, like, ‘When did you stop beating your wife?’. Jesus’ answer was all about maintaining faithfulness and love.
But before all the divorcees and re-married people who are reading this give up in disgust, guilt, shame or sorrow or some mix of these, let’s remember our overall context that Matthew has been leading us through. The Messiah is revealing what it is like to live in his kingdom on earth. Forgiveness, finding lost sheep, loving and restoring have been Matthew’s themes for chapters now. It’s not likely that he will be changing direction now.
Note carefully the form of the Pharisees’ question: Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Herein lies the problem. The divorce that they are imagining has nothing to do with a couple who, for whatever reasons, simply cannot continue together. That would be a different question altogether.
Their question relates to a man aggressively, deliberately, unilaterally casting off his wife, for his own benefit alone. Give us a cause that we can quote in our carefully-constructed lawsuits, they ask, to give us men the right to dismiss our wives when we tire of them.
Marriage in scripture has always been an earthly image of the heavenly covenant between God and his people. This was the foundation of Israel’s covenant with God. God uses the metaphor of marriage, in terms of a wooing love, of unfaithfulness, of adultery, over and over again throughout the Old Testament. (See Hosea 2 for an extended example of this.)
In these metaphors, God is always the groom, the husband, and Israel is always the wife, the lover, the woman upon whom he bestows his love and to whom he grants his whole self in a gracious and generous covenant relationship. This is the model for all husbands!
Now the Pharisees – the shepherds and teachers of Israel – are asking for the grounds on which a manmay divorce his wife. They absolutely fail to understand the nature of marriage in the context of the covenant of Israel with God, the one topic on which they are supposed to be the experts.
Jesus’ reply is absolutely predictable. Unless you want to redefine the covenant between Israel and God, you cannot redefine the marriage covenant, just to suit your own carnal desires, he says, more or less. The entire culture of the human family in both Gentile and Jewish cultures is built on faithfulness in the marriage covenant.
What cause might be acceptable to dismiss your wife? Well, Israel, have you given cause to the Almighty to divorce you? (Yes, we have.) And has He done so? (No, he hasn’t.) Or are you still desperately holding onto the hope that God will hold you to himself in covenant love no matter what you do? (Oh, yes, please.)
Jesus acknowledges that in the human condition, we are prone to failure and faithlessness. God understood and accepted that, and through Moses, allowed for divorce as a means of renewal and starting over. But let’s not forget two things: first, the children are waiting in the wings; they will be a major part of the collateral damage. Second, if you are a member of the kingdom of heaven you should be seeking to operate by its standards. Reconciliation, forgiveness, renewal – these are the standards to which we are called.
But if we are caught up in a circumstance that makes renewal impossible – and many are, (let’s not look for who’s to blame), then God is gracious and will forgive. But to go around looking for ‘just cause’ for a man to dump his wife because he’s seen a better-looking option, especially in a culture where that would place her in a very difficult financial and social position – Jesus tells the Pharisees that they shouldn't even begin to think about it. How has God treated you? Has he abandoned you, Israel? (In our more equal culture, this argument would apply just as much to women dumping their men.)
Marriage is a foretaste of the impending joy of heaven. It mirrors the deep covenantal relationship between God and humankind. It is a place of constant giving of oneself, and receiving another, so that a new unity is established. This is the goal to which every married couple is aspiring.
And the children? They remind us that we enter into this Kingdom only as little children; trusting, believing, innocent of preconceptions, desiring acceptance, and believing in love.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, you have loved us with an everlasting love. When we were afar off, you saw us, and you loved us. You brought us to yourself and you gave yourself to us in love. Help us to preserve our marriages and our families, to love one another deeply and without condition. And when we fail, please forgive us and help us to stand again. Amen.
